Hearts Formed in Perfect Timing

I have moments when I think about any one of my adopted sons and all the breath in my lungs literally leaves my body. Tonight, driving past a graduation, it happened again. Next year I'll be sitting in that audience, but didn't Ryan just get here? Some days I do envy moms with babies and toddlers, not because I "want one", but because I imagine my son at that age and my heart aches that I couldn't be his mom through all the stages of childhood. I imagine he would have fewer giants to slay and fewer fears to face. I guess that means I officially have the "mom heart," the mostly universal desire to protect a child from hardship, heartache and heavy burdens. When I realize I'm holding my breath, as though I have any ability to stop time, I inhale the reassurance of the creator of us both. His ability to redeem, restore and rebuild are exceedingly far beyond my comprehension. I still feel as though I can barely grasp it. He reminds me that much growth, leading to deeper relationship with Him, follows periods of blindness, isolation and fear. A heart broken and rebuilt 100 times is 100 times more likely to trust Him. We've both learned more about God and leaned more on God these last 4 years together (by adoption) than all the previous ones we lived apart. 

Prayerful this upcoming year will drive each of us deeper into relationship with the one who knit us both, in His perfect timing, for one another. As a mom, I'm reminded that I personally was created and formed in His perfect timing. One of the roles He knew I would have would be adoptive mom. When he was forming my heart ahead of my birth, my children were already on His mind. When he was forming the heart of my son, he already knew I would be loaned a piece of his heart as well. This was evidenced in our relationship from the beginning. To adopt a child from Ryan's country, both parents must be a full 18 years older than the child. There are no exceptions to this rule, not even one day will be pardoned. Therefore, Ryan had to be born after my 18th birthday. As I looked down on a piece of paper and read Ryan's birth date, I knew that God had ordained and affirmed our meeting one another. Ryan was born one day after my 18th birthday. Literally, the day of my birth and the day of his birth were in God's perfect timing to become mother and son. 

For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well. Psalm 139:13-14(HCSB)

My sons are ex orphans in every sense of the word. They were literally orphaned for a period of time lacking the relationship with birth mother and birth father. They were spiritual orphans prior to accepting Christ into their hearts, which is a decision they have all personally made. When I think of ex orphans, both literally and spiritually, my sons are the first people to cross my mind. They are my daily example and reminder of God's far reaching hand, one bent on redemption.

Proclaiming Him to the Fatherless in hopes of creating EX ORPHANS!

www.EXORPHAN.org

facebook.com/exorphan

twitter.com/exorphan